What’s in a name?

A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES

On our trip to the cinema, we didn’t stop too long with our 93.179: 1970’s movie dram, and first took in a double bill of 48.101: Mad Wax and 36.157: Mad Wax: beyond thunderdram. There was something for everyone on the other screens with 10.35: When Harry met Sally, as well as C5.2: Herby goes bananas followed by 77.45: More layers than Shrek for the kids. We were sadly ejected for singing 28.40: Lady marmalade during 57.13: Moulin Rouge, but that was probably fortunate as we would certainly have been asked to leave for our rendition of Edelweiss during 37.23: The Sound of Music (or 63.20 if you prefer) and truthfully did not have the pipes for 36.148: La Vie en Rose.

It was Distillery 41 that satisfied our request for Westerns, and the intensity increased with 41.93: Little house on the prairie, 41.119: A fistful of biscuits and 41.121: There will be blood orange before we finished with 53.247: True Grit. Deciding that some Fleming or le Carré would be the ticket, we watched 41.103: The confectioner who came in from the cold, which was the film adaptation of 48.100: The kumquat who came in from the cold. Finally deciding that 93.97: Full metal hospital proved a bit dark for our liking, we lightened the mood.

This started with a classic franchise, as we followed Doc Brown in 53.319: Back to the suture, 135.15: Back to the suture Part II and 11.39: Back to the teuchter Part III, and continued the family fun (not the kind Marty almost had) as several casks apparated us straight to Hogwarts, starting with 58.10: Harry Potter’s introduction to whisky. We found ourselves eating 93.16: “Bertie Bott’s Chilli Beans” on the train from platform 9¾, before arriving at the castle and having to choose between a sip from the 42.34: Slytherin potion flask or 35.213: The Hippogriff’s hipflask… for our taste of polyjuice potion. The wizarding world may have appropriated a few 93.69: Props for a Hammer film to add some atmosphere to the film version of this famous universe.

In a few remakes of the classics, including a Dickensian romp in 55.53: The Old Curiosity Shop, some honey must have spilled on Guy Richie’s script for 54.70: The manuka from uncle. Timon and Pumbaa donned the tartan for their version of 54.76: Habunadh Matata (it means ‘nae bother’, for the rest of your days) and they may also have been the crossover into Lambert’s Highlander where 77.52: There can be only several!. Confused by these new versions, after a final 63.53: Nutty professor’s dram, we decided television on the couch might be a better option, just not the dystopian adaptation of 29.196: A Mermaid's Tale.

A CHILDREN’S TELEVISION WORKSHOP

As such, in lieu of the films, happily the Disney Channel provided for some reprieve from babysitting, and we introduced the little ones to 33.132: Beauty and the Beast (we’ve always had a soft spot for 53.315: Beast) and 93.118: Aladdin’s cave, before making the rainbow connection with 100.20: Kermit’s kale knackwurst. The drams were flowing for everyone in Neverland except Captain Hook with 59.12: The Peter Pan Whisky and 30.51: Tinkerbell whisky.

The Disney Corporation met Michael Bond when 121.92: Pinocchio meets Paddington Bear and the little fellow from darkest Peru was corrupted by the little wooden boy. Following R9.2: Paddington bear's first sip of rum, the party really began when the two settled in for a 35.143: Pinocchio dram, one of Geppetto’s other famous creations. Falling asleep that night, Bond’s bear was certainly present in 123.29: Pinocchio’s dream.

Perhaps influenced by the drams, we decided to 71.48: Follow the yellow brick road home via the Bakerloo line and thought we saw 29.206: Popeye at Trafalgar, so annoyed everyone on the tube with a boisterous round of 93.102: Papaya the sailor man. It turns out we might have confused the lean, mean, green 122.32: Punchy peater with little Grogu, and we had to retract our comments. From seeing things to seeing double, and inspired to read more cartoons before bed, 37.28: Bazooka Joe turned into 52.12: Bazooka Joes before we decided to put down the comic.

Sometimes, while the silver screen gives us so much, we get bored of more episodes of 93.103: Last of the summer grime and 114.4: A Para Handy Tales, and there’s only so many times we can listen to 73.121: Meemaw's moonpie talk about physics and science fiction. In those moments, there’s nothing like relaxing with a good book to truly transport us to a new world.

ALLITERATIVE LITERARY LIBATIONS AT THE LIBRARY

In the same way as we had had enough time in the theatre seating and in front of the television, we couldn’t stomach the works of Proust or the Society’s version of C7.1: A la recherche du temps perdu. Rather than tackle this, we began in the classics, and when 93.56: Moby Dick meets Alan Titchmarsh we wonder if 16.33: Melville’s other monster might have in fact hailed from Tolkien’s world of 137.1: An English country Mordor. Thinking this might be a monster of a different kind, we turned to Stephen King’s take on the biblical passage with 72.7: Suffer the little children for a less literal monstrosity.

But again, it was getting a bit heavy, so we found some more whisky appropriate words. Unsurprisingly, 7.195: If Rabbie Burns did afternoon tea, his works would feature prominently between the cakes and coffee in our volume of famous Scottish poems, with lines like 58.27: My muse! Guid auld Scotch drink!, 58.28: Usquebae an' blankets warm and 58.29: Soul o' plays and pranks, and there must be something about Distillery 58 that appeals to the great poet. Finishing Daffodils and the famous Wordsworth wordsmithing of 9.157: I drambled lonely as a cloud... we moved from one poet named William to another.

Our hour of the metered verse would not be complete without some extracts or full plays from the immortal bard, and we were treated with a monologue medley in the form of renditions of 76.143: Wherefore art thou rancio?, 29.50: "sounds and sweet airs, that give delight...", 6.26: "...untimely ripped", 53.256: "...hell-broth boil and bubble.", 60.28: Once more unto the peach dear friends, 6.29: Is this a damson I see before me? (or was it 71.59: Is this a lemon I see before me..., we cannot recall) and the full performance of 26.54: Midsummer nights’ dram. Well, we all know that 61.10: An Islay by another name would smell as peat.

In true Wildean fashion of the 3.324: Split personality, we went on to meet 105.6: Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, or possibly 29.41: Mr Hyde and Dr Jekyll. Either way, we agreed they were polar opposites. Finishing the fascinating tale of 3.330: Sherlock Holmes in ‘The Lost World’, we were led into a deep dive on reality and meaning, so picked up 68.26: Do androids dream of eclectic sheep? and started to imagine a more futuristic and space-age journey.

TO BOLDLY GO…

Perhaps better represented by Distillery 42, we said 29.262: So long and thanks for all the medicine and, to build the initial suspense for our countdown, we cried 29.46: To infinity and beyond. When we did not receive the response desired, we rallied again but with greater emphasis and bellowed 35.181: To infinity… and beyond! before giving up and going with the more traditional 16.34: Thunderbirds are go!

Out of the atmosphere and on the way to 44.109: A Gallifreyan photo booth, we were asked for our 7.223: Tardis malt of the moments. Narrowing it down to two very different crew members, the vote was divided between 93.122: Baldrick's Cosmic Tardis and 93.143: Blackadder's Cosmic Tardis, but the former may have just been edged over the line as a result of 93.187: Baldrick’s aquatic dress turnip. After escape from 50.104: A rosewood Dalek, as the mission slowed, some 93.116: Dystopian cyberman lubricant that we found in 10.172: A Silurian's seasoning cupboard helped us reach a more nihilistic and dark vision of the future, where law and order were the responsibility of 66.154: Robocow.

Looking out the window and proclaiming 20.25: My God, it’s full of stars!, we hoped beyond hope that we did not encounter a 93.98: Hospital facehugger as the Strauss and Kubrick fanfare heralded our 54.63: 2000: and some face odyssey. As our perception of time began to alter in the penultimate acid trip, so began 112.43: Starfruit: the next distillation, before sobering up and realising we had been sitting in the backseat of 91.10: A pre-war Daimler for nine hours (which, despite being 3.49: The Kwik-Fit Fitter’s delight, was not as fun as the Enterprise). 122.26: It's peat Jim, but not as we know it….

COLOURFUL CHARACTERS

The lifestyles of the rich and the famous feature legends known the world over, or just the whisky world over. British politics has seen its fair share of casks, and not just from distilleries with royal warrants. Depending on your leaning, you may love or hate 85.8: A Tony Blair of a whisky, and if it’s not your cup of tea, then the royalists may fancy a tipple of 2.33: King George IV’s Favourite Whisky and perhaps some of 16.18: King Alfred's (ginger) cakes.

Wanting a bit more glamour, we decided to imbibe with 53.54: Lauren Bacall, 104.8: Sophia Loren in a mink coat (who is a vision, truly a 33.59: Angel in Doc Martins) and Elizabeth Taylor on 5.61: A date with Cleopatra. Among those artists honoured by uproarious cheers was a showcase of 96.18: The Harvesters by Bruegel and a dram that 3.279: Evokes Van Gogh’s Provence rather than 39.172: Starry starry night.

The group of revered elites in the whisky world who have made a label is very small, consisting of 26.125: Valentin’s moustache wax, a homage to Serge the hirsute whisky reviewer, and G7.19: Storry’s quarry, one of another excellent blogger’s favourite drams, albeit one who is not so hirsute (sorry Philip!). While 35.216: Curled Satan's whiskers was a reference to a different moustachioed character, Marcel may not have warranted his epithet in 29.261: An evil Dutch dentist's dram to be taken too literally.

With 72.71: The retired Drumnadrochit hotelier's drinking society paying homage to the wonderful Mr Dick Beach, and 39.124: A toast to Tim Peake’s return setting the bar astronomically high in terms of what might qualify to join such august company, one can only hope to make this list one day.

Far from some classic Scottish icons, which range from an event as exciting as 66.114: The 1920 summer Olympics when G15.5: Murray serves an ace in sporting circles and the elegance of 3.133: Vettriano dreams (also perhaps not so far from the singing butler) for the art lovers, it is super groups like 82.11: Spring flowers and Spice Girls and The Beatles that take us on a guided tour of the toe tapping recording studios at Abbey Road.

DON’T MAKE A SONG AND DANCE

It was hit after hit with 93.75: In an octopus's garden, 1.128: Oh I believe in yesterday… and 26.118: Happiness is a Warm Hug! as well as rumours that a certain Campbeltown landowner had performed on 35.146: Mellow Yellow, until the band finally broke up. For those classically inclined, a quartet played 35.226: Nocturne du Elgin en B flat minor, 89.10: Glove box sonata in B minor and R10.1: Carnival concerto in E minor on some sweetened instruments including 35.202: Christmas spice and honeyed Stradivarius (imagine that, 55.44: Honey on a Stradivarius).

From some older school ditties like 35.211: Putting on the Ritz, 46.43: If I were a carpenter... and 48.83: “… and the living’s easy”, the tempo increased and the genre shifted into a platinum album line-up headlined by 9.139: Buck's Fizz at a garden party featuring Bowie with 10.97: Ch-ch-ch-Changes, Elton with 13.75: Briny dancer and Bruno with 84.26: Uptown funk you sup who was called back for an encore reprise of 93.127: C-town funk you up! before the crowds disbursed.

In the battle among 66.171: Rock, punk and funk, we decided 12.17: Punk’s not dead and put on a couple of syrupy records by 58.8: Sid viscous, although 66.80: Sweet Peat Carolina did make an appearance in the playlist. We were treated to covers of 36.112: Easy like Sunday morning and 46.69: Ruby boozeday by 46.73: The artist formerly known as mints, and then it became very strange when the mood changed from Disney to Cohen in the form a downbeat 76.144: I caught the darkness... that followed an upbeat 42.26: Chim, chim, cher-ee and 46.61: Bare necessities. Luckily, we were quite content eating 35.19: Mr. Kipling's Bakewell Tart rather than listening to more songs from the jungle.

It wasn’t long before the night was ending, and for that we reverted to the Scottish songs of old, starting with 9.37: A Greenwood Ballad. While 53.389: Goodnight and joy may have been a request for the Parting Glass, we took it was a reference to the ‘Ettrick Shepherd’ James Hogg, so loudly sang 10.203: Day is fading west awa’, 53.340: Loud raves the torrent an' the rain, and 53.308: Let the Tempest tout an' blaw. As for Burns’s poetry, it seems Distillery 53 struck a chord as a setting for traditional tunes.

GODS, MYTHS AND LEGENDS

Wanting something a little more 35.295: Mythical and magical, we enrolled in an Arts degree, majoring in Ancient Civilisations with a minor in fables. Taking lessons in Greek, 10.199: Norse and Hawaiian mythology, we were invited for dinner with 42.48: Odin and Zeus and asked to do some 10.170: Cooking for Hades, including whipping up some 4.217: Nordic nosh. We had been brushing up on the skills by watching 50.78: Ready… steady…bake! and the 41.106: MasterChef Final so were ready to produce the 71.88: Fare of the gods and 9.133: Elixir of the gods so good that our hosts would think it had been G10.16: Touched by Midas.

Unfortunately, our lecturer opened 44.79: Pandora’s Box and revealed they were a little 44.70: Janus-faced, making a faux pas after 73.100: Dancing with Dionysus when they accidentally put on 96.30: Thor’s slippers and got 53.248: Slapped by Poseidon’s glove. After being deemed unworthy, we said goodnight before being given 4.287: Thor’s slammer and all piled into 16.35: Dante's Mondeo, but not before a nightcap of the 1.121: Nectar of the gods (or, more specifically, 3.292: Nectar of the Islay gods), which tasted like it was made from 13.23: Mandarin oranges and Playdoh.

Settling in for some 96.19: Pizza and fairy tales by the fireside, we were regaled by tales of 71.42: Sinbad preparing for a journey, 66.79: Hansel and Gretel duality, and shared a dram of 50.12: Rumpelstiltskin whisky as we asked for an alternative ending and were given the tale of 50.93: Hansel and Gretel at the Savoy. Hearing more tales of 53.222: The Three Little Pigs and 66.89: Sea breezes over Lilliput, it was time for 13.74: Baa baa bleak sheep and drifting off to sleep.

SWEET TREATS AND SAVOURY MEATS

The agenda for the day on awakening required stocking up on lollies, but a hearty breakfast was warranted first. 71.29: Peaches on Shredded Wheat felt reasonably healthy, followed by a bowl that was 8.14: Well-formed, with Sugar Puffs. The sweetness doubled down with some 101.3: Nutella and ghostly Spangles so to cut through it we poured some glasses of 113.4: Bovril and Metaxa to wash down our 16.45: Womble pie then, much like 27.60: “Inspiring bold John Barleycorn”, it was off to the store.

Unsurprisingly, the candy aisle was a popular location for the Panel, ranging from the sickly sweet 30.29: McCowan’s Highland Toffee (but worth a second piece so we grabbed another 30.45), to the rich chocolate goodness of 36.25: Kit-Kat in the wrapper, 50.15: Cadbury’s chocolate fingers, with zest and 24.67: Walnut Whips and contradictions. For those whose teeth have betrayed them from so many sweets, 17.17: Toblerone and dried roses could be made into 24.29: Liquid Toblerone if it was helpful to the dentures (and those affected may need some 23.38: Elderflowers and Dentine chewing gum to sooth the aftereffects).

Grabbing a big bag of pick-and-mix, we filled our pockets with 35.215: Juicy figs and Percy Pigs, 4.94: Starbursts and peat, 2.42: Fruit Polos in Wax Paper and a 35.201: Big Red in a sweat lodge, as well as a few packets of 39.26: Callard and Bowsers with Cappuccino. We also wanted something more substantial and so, as the dessert trolley trundled past the table, we mixed our lollies into our pudding. 24.50: Apple strudel and Ovaltine was a great combination, as were 103.7: Clootie dumpling and Dolly Mixtures, and 7.34: Figs and Cremola Foam. We then went straight to 31.31: A couple of classic icons as it was time for some 39.66: Ginger then Jaffa Cakes before 2.45: Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby. This was washed down with lashings of 107.5: Baked apples and Diet Coke by the bucket.

CRISP AND CLEAN, OR MR SHEEN…?

Bridging the gap between confectionary and cleansing, 27.46: Ferrero Rocher chocolates and talcum powder and 78.30: Aero, Vaseline and grapefruit took us on a trip to the bathroom cabinets with everything 19.11: From marzipan to Duraglit that was 9.9: Strong as a Fisherman's Friend.

We avoided any reference to soap in Distillery 3, but proudly found 53.67: Wright’s Coal Tar Soap (and a second bar at 29.29) with all the florals of 7.20: Peach champagne and Laura Ashley. Our senses were exposed to 62.9: Roger & Gallet carnation soap, followed by 19.41: Bath bombs and Calpol as we strolled to 38.9: Crabtree and Evelyn, then Bodyshop. Not content with 38.8: Radox Original we requested a more pleasant aroma with 36.24: Grapefruit and Radox, and to cure what ails us we reached to the medicine cabinet for some 14.12: Bonjela antiseptic cream and chillis and 23.47: Sudofed baby cream.

These products reminded us we needed to visit the chemist for some 1.111: Friar’s Balsam and goose-gogs, and a box of 24.76: Embers, Elastoplast and plump figs for our paper cut from handling all these labels, and the big brands seemed to dominate the shelves. The regulator warned of a crack-down for undue prominence with the ads for 1.82: Swarfega, 57.12: Swarfega and plasticene and 33.48: May flowers and Swarfega (even being rerun at 33.49), so for equity the apothecaries were spruiking 120.2: Germolene and joss sticks, 4.71: Cinder toffee and Germolene, 54.15: Sweet Pastries and Germolene and 4.50: Syrup sponge smeared with Germoline.

Approaching the counter with all our shopping, there is no better way to end our journey of pop culture than with mention of our 25.36: Big beast with Viagra, and in circumstances like that there is not much to do but 29.24: Close your eyes and think of Scotland.